wd-40

What man does not love WD-40? Women readers, take note. Can't think of what to get your man for a gift giving holiday? Get him a can of WD-40. Men would wear WD-40 as aftershave if they could. Some do.

Duct Tape is also a great all-around gift. WD-40 and Duct Tape. They say you can fix anything with duct tape or WD-40. If it moves and is not supposed to, stick it down with duct tape. If it doesn't move and is supposed to, lube it up with WD-40.

Just don't leave WD-40 in a freezing cold car ...

... or you'll have 10w40.

that's despicable

If nobody finds you despicable, then perhaps you are not as well known as you think you are.